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Posted: Sep 22, 2008 9:24 PM
Updated: Sep 23, 2008 12:00 AM

9/22/08

If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all

(Isaiah 7:9)

In the last 21 weeks I have used this verse in a very literal way!

My diagnosis is transverse myelitis (TM) which is a neurological syndrome caused by inflammation of the spinal cord. It is estimated that 1 to 5 per million population is diagnosed with transverse myelitis per year. This makes determining the diagnosis very complicated following many tests - MRI(several!!), Cat scan, blood work, spinal tap, neuro checks, electronic nerve stimulation tests and so on. TM refers to involvement across one level of the spinal cord. The inflammation within the spinal cord interrupts pathways of the motor nerve fibers to the limbs and the trunk and sensory fibers from the body back to the brain. Sensation is diminished below the level of spinal cord involvement. The damage to the spinal cord is the result of an abnormal activation of the immune system against the spinal cord causing demyelination. Recovery may be absent, partial or complete and generally begins in 1 to 3 months. Significant recovery is unlikely, if no improvement occurs by 3 months. Statistics vary on the number of patients that recover from 30% to 45 or 50%.

The disease that I contracted is very rare and the causes are actually unknown (referred to as idiopathic) or vary from a long list of viral infections, bacterial infections, or a longer list of other disease processes. In essence, chances of getting TM or slim to none, chances of recovering from the paralysis caused by TM are slim to none and the cause is basically unknown. The good news is that only a small percentage suffers a reoccurrence. Also, patients that have normal brain MRIs at the time of myelitis (ME!) and patients with complete TM (which means severe leg paralysis and sensory loss (ME AGAIN!) - are less likely to develop multiple sclerosis than those with partial or less severe cases of TM.

I say all of this to say that I feel that God has been in control the entire time. I (although fear has crept up at times), have felt a peace throughout all of the chaos during the diagnosis process, the tests, and the unfavorable statistics of recovery. In Romans 5:3, the bible says that we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Well, throughout the past months and the upcoming months, I have and will remain hopeful!

My recovery has been remarkable and I am referred to as a miracle at Schumperts rehabilitation department. I can move all muscle groups in my left leg and my right leg is improving gradually. I can feel touch everywhere, but not light touch nor sensation of hot or cold or pain on my left leg. Also, I can sit up straight in the chair because of my increased strength in my abdominal muscles. Each milestone of improvement has been remarkable! The first time that I walked with a walker almost 300 feet, I was surrounded by nurses and staff clapping and wiping tears of joy! (The first time I stood in a standing position I cried and so did my therapist, Jessica Sprout) Today I can walk using only a cane and some days without any assistance! My stride is slow, stiff and not entirely coordinated, but I am relearning the motions. I have conquered simple tasks, such as getting showered and dressed by myself, balancing holding a lightweight object in my hands while walking, and driving. I hope I never take any daily task for granted again!

Isaiah 40:11 says, He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms. I went to a church in Virginia that had a stained glass window on the right front window of the church that had Jesus holding a lamb in His arms. I have seen that window throughout the MRIs and times of anxiety and reminded myself that I am not alone and that I am the lamb that is being held in the arms of Jesus. At that point, fear, doubt, and hopelessness are not an option.

God has shown me that He is in control on a daily basis and His love has surrounded me and comforted me throughout the past months. He has used each one of you to do this. Thank you all for allowing Him to do so. His healing power has been evident and overwhelming at times. Your prayers have been so powerful! I am unexplainably grateful to have compassionate, supportive, encouraging, loving, and prayerful friends, family, and entire community. Thank you for your phone calls, cards, support and encouragement for my family, offers to help baby-sit, help clean the house or drive me somewhere. Please pray for me in the upcoming months so that we can continue to witness God's healing power together. As Dr. Nanda and Dr. Courtney and all of the rehabilitation staff have said, I have "beaten the odds and have had muscle return in an unprecedented amount of time". They all have credited my recovery to prayer. Thank you for being by my side throughout this journey.

Love,

Dedra Ash